Sunday, November 21, 2010

Marriage becoming obsolete

I recently read an article that said most Americans believe that marriage is becoming obsolete. Really? Is that what we have become? I have been married for almost 20 years to the same wonderful man that one day I will grow old with and join into our Heavenly Fathers kingdom with. This is the same man who has fathered my 3 sons, stood by me through thick and thin. Seen me at my best and at my worst. Followed me up and down the path of mood swings, migraines and all sorts of other goodies.

Why are people not wanting to get married? Maybe society has made it easier for folks not to get married. After all - who wants to be "tied" down for the rest of their life? Don't you want to be an independent person? Who wants to work through an argument when you can just walk away and move on to the next bump in the road with someone else?

Marriage is not easy. There is no quick fix. One can not be self centered and have the "me" attitude. It is a "we" attitude. Looking out for each others best interest, the "I got your back" attitude. Each person must give and take. Arguments are bound to happen. But what about the good times. The making up, sharing memories, raising children in a loving home, growing old together, looking back on your life at all the achievements and disappointments? Granted marriage is not always a bed of roses, but I think the benefits far outweigh the alternative.

When my husband and I were first married there was the honeymoon phase. Life was grand- I woke up to glitter and rainbows every day. Then came the adjustment phase- uh- not so great. Little things like leaving socks on the floor, not picking up his towel, leaving glasses on the counter drove me nuts- and I let him know all about it every chance I got. Sure I drove him nuts too, my anal ways about housekeeping- among lots of other things. But we worked through it. Both of us had to grow up and realize that we were each our own individual - but joined. It was not about who was right or wrong, it was about learning to adjust to each other.
Now we are in what I like to call the comfort stage. We are completely comfortable with each other. We know each other like the back of our hands. With one look or touch we almost always know what the other person is thinking or feeling. Sure we still have our arguments - but doesn't everyone?
One day we will reach the end of the road. We will not know when that time will come, or how it will happen. But we do know one thing. He will be there holding my hand as I take my journey into Heaven or I will be there holding his hand as he takes his journey. I will not have to worry about being abandoned and alone during my final walk for he with be with me every step of the way. We loved each other enough to make an eternal commitment to each other. People who think that marriage is becoming obsolete really don't know what they are missing.


A Joyful Chaos said...

I can't imagine life without being married to my best friend. It's sad that some people are starting to think marriage is obsolete. they really don't know what they're missing.


Angelena said...

That is so true. I love being married and wouldn't have it any other way. :)

Ginger said...

I've been married 18 years this month and I feel the same way! My husband is my best friend and I'm his. I can't imagine my life without him. We always talk about how sad it is that people don't value marriage anymore. I agree... they don't know what they are missing out on. Great post. Thanks for sharing!

Felicity {at Simple Elegance} said...

I'm not married yet, I'm still in the pre-young adult state, but marriage and family are my greatest goals. It's sad to me how many young women, and young men, are putting, education, personal pursuits, and lame excuses ahead of mother and fatherhood. I want so bad to assist my Father in Heaven and raise up His precious children, and I think it's terribly selfish not to think of those children, God's plan for them and me, and the people in the world who could be affected by my future children.

Thanks for this post - it's beautiful. :)

Felicity @ Simple Elegance

Maria said...

I saw that article too. Personally I have to wonder who they were doing this survey on myself, because I know very few people who think that.
It is like you said, marriage is not easy, it is hard work but worth it.
Great post!

Momza said...

I read that article too and it left me feeling similarly. On one end, we have same sex couple screaming for the institution of marriage become perverted for their desires, and on the other side, there are those who see marriage itself as being irrelevant in modern society.
No wonder the world's a confused mess.

Lissa said...

I am happy to say that marriage is not obsolete to me but one of the greatest gifts in my life!

Julie Harward said...

Thanks for your visit. I loved your post..and yes this crazy world is getting so mixed up...Satan is behind it all..trying to ruin all of what family and marriage really is all about. I know that families and marriage is an eternal blessing too.:D

Angelena said...

It is so nice to hear all your wonderful comments. Kinda makes you wonder who the news media was polling??

Julieann said...

Angelena, Awesome post! I love being married and would not have it any other way. You described my marriage exactly too..We are at the comfy stage. The little things that used to bother me just don't bother me anymore. He works so hard and gives so much, so what if I have to pick up a sock or two...LOL.. I think he has earned it. I have a few friends that are what you described above about not wanting to get married, and I think it is just a defense, because they aren't married or have not been asked, So they pretend it is isn't important,did that make sense?

YaY!! Your back to blogging too:)


betsy clark said...

What a treasure commitment in marriage is. What an amazing design God made in this institution. In our "I want happiness at any cost and I want it now" society, people miss the blessing that a lifelong commitment allow for. We just went through the Love and Respect series with our Couples LifeGroup. One thing I love that they emphasize is husbands loving their wives and wives respecting their husbands "As unto the Lord" and He will reward us accordingly. It may not always be here, (but it often is as well), but it's so worth the obedience, to hear Him say "Well done..." even when obedience wasn't easy. He is so tender and gracious with us!